Hey Besties, today’s “article ” is about parents always comparing their children. It’s TOXIC and should be stopped. I’m not a psychologist or some professional so I’m just running my mouth 🙂 Now tell me your thoughts and experiences in the comments and have a wonderful day as always.
So let’s talk about how the praised child feels or let’s discuss them. So those little shits get cocky and then they start to degrade the other siblings. Which is a total no-no in my book. They start to feel as if they're better since they're the ones getting the good attention. And they usually don’t stick up for their sibling that is receiving the negative attention from the parents. I think that because A) they either don’t care and secretly hate or is jealous of the other sibling or B) they think if they stick up for their sibling that they too will be put in that position so their scared I guess you could say.
Now if you’re the praised sibling reading this, and the last reason is you then grow a pair and stand up for your sibling. If you’re the 1st reason then stop being a jealous, cocky asshole and help your sibling especially if it’s in a physically abusive situation.
Now for how I think the child that receives the negative attention feels. They obviously feel bad about themselves. Like it’s pretty obvious. How would you feel if the people who made you critique everything about you and never show that they are proud of you no matter how hard you try? You would feel sad or be insecure, wouldn’t you? Then when the sibling that their compared to doesn’t stand up for them that makes it worst.
They would feel as if everyone is against them. It would make them feel like their in a tiny box and is constantly being under a microscope just looking for everything that is presumed wrong with them.
When the parent(s) don’t even acknowledge that they are hurting their child, that’s just heartbreaking and shows that they really don’t pay attention to their child. The parent(s) is truly disgusting and sick if they know that they make their child sad but still do it, maybe they actually hate their child or causing pain to the child gets them off.
Sometimes it’s just clear and painfully obvious who the favourite child is. All children should be able to feel loved and wanted by their parents. They should be able to feel comfortable and rely on their parents.
I feel like this song somewhat represents how the child that gets negative attention feels.
The child who is always being torn apart feels as if they will never be good enough, or will be able to please their parents. All they really want is to know that their parents are proud of them. They seek validation from their parents. You might be like what if the parent had a bad upbringing. I think having bad parents should make you not want to be like them. I think it would make you not want your child to feel how you did, like you were alone, like you weren’t good enough, to constantly be doubting yourself and so on.
If you haven’t sorted out your past trauma then don’t have kids. If you aren’t able to emotionally love them or able to make them feel loved don’t do that to them. It fucks up the child and you obviously know that since you have had experience. < If you had bad parents growing up >
All I’m saying is to make sure to treat all your children with love equally. I think that 9 times out of 10, the one you looked down on will be the one that ends up being there for you in the end. They want to hate you so much, but they still want your approval for reasons they themselves don’t know. Deep down I think they just want to feel what it would be like if their parents, THE ONES WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO LOVE THEM, actually appreciated them and what they do.
You know what’s really bad when you compare your child to a kid that’s not even yours. It hurts, It hurts like a deep wound that won’t stop bleeding.
Now not every parent is perfect and no parent is perfect. But it makes a difference when you try. Just telling your child that you’re proud of them can be their day.
Here are some YouTube videos and articles you can read ~
This isn’t necessarily a comparison thing but it’s still important
Make sure you browse through the comments on this one
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