Hey besties. We need to talk about the teacher x student trope, it's not cute nor is it something for people to be romanticizing it's basically supporting paedophilia. Let's get into this whole debacle.
On Wattpad, in books, shows, movies, e.t.c you can see intimate relationships of students and teachers happening. That should not be romanticized, not only is it illegal, it is damaging to the CHILD.
Well, if it's in college, I don't think it's necessarily bad since the student is probably older than 18, or the age of consent. But there is a somewhat power imbalance.
I think you should listen to Teacher's Pet by Melanie Martinez, it is ti song at the start. Pay attention to the lyrics closely. Listening to the song I wonder if Miss Martinez has written this from experience based on the things she says.
"You got a wife and kids, you see them daily Don't know why you even need me"
Teacher's pet If I'm so special, why am I secret? Yeah, why the fuck is that? Do you regret The things we shared that I'll never forget?"
There are a bunch of shows depicting intimate, inappropriate relationships between students and teachers. The teacher is mainly male and the student female but in real life, it goes both genders. Do you think people who have gone through this feel comfortable seeing it? This could be someone's trauma. They might not have seen it when the relationship happened but in later years they come to realize how wrong it was and the mental damage is already done.
LOLITA
I think the student x teacher trope is similar to the Lolita " aesthetic ", they are both in a way glorifying paedophilia, and preying on children.
I have googled and looked through some articles pertaining to Lolita, and why people like the book. I have not read it and do not plan on reading it because of my stubborn nature, and the fact that the book is based on a MAN falling in love, preying on a CHILD, I'm usually open-minded but I cannot deal with reading the book based on the context and I find it disturbing. I found this article: https://josephnmercado.medium.com/why-read-lolita-6ff1fe81caae but it's not enough to change my mind about this book.
"Although I mentioned that Lolita is like a love letter turned into a novel, it is definitely not a story about love. Lolita is about an abusive relationship, but it’s very subtle about it — and the subtlety is important." - https://josephnmercado.medium.com/why-read-lolita-6ff1fe81caae
^ in that article "After all, Humbert Humbert is an older man who has a sexual relationship with a young teenage girl. Someone who has heard about, but not personally read, Lolita might say, “The main character is a pedophile! Lolita is an underage temptress! What can we possibly learn from something so gross!?” Maybe nothing (though, I don’t think this is the case). Maybe something. But one will never know if one does not open themselves up to the possibility of empathizing with someone who represents an affront to their ideals and principles."
Something that did not sit right with me was the fact that they called the 12 year old girl a temptress. I don't see how a child should be tempting, also based on the clips I've seen of the movie version < there is a scene when she was lying on the grass, eating a lollipop > she was not being seductive in any way, it was the man who was perceiving her that way, which it's odd that they call her that.
Sometimes a student may be attracted to a teacher but the teacher should not indulge in anything intimate or anything inappropriate with that student.
WHY ARE ADULTS ATTRACTED TO CHILDREN? // THE MIND OF PEDOPHILES
I think a seed is planted sometimes, for the teacher to be of interest to the student. Why does an intimate relationship with a child, student become desirable to the teacher? Is it that it is forbidden? Is it that they're just a sick individual? What is it? Why are adults even attracted to children in the 1st place?
So I really wanted to know why is an adult attracted to children so I went and did a little research. Here are the articles I went through:
So I came upon this person on Quora and it left me unsettled.
"The terms “older adult” and “younger kids" are a bit ambiguous. I'm 23 and I often find myself attracted to younger girls in the age range of 12–16. But there are also much older adults who are attracted to children as young as 5 and 6. I can only speak from my own experience.
There are several things I find attractive, and most of them aren't physical. Yes, the overall physique plays a role. But much more significant is the burgeoning self-awareness they display at that age, when they begin to ask all sorts of complex questions and negotiate their own identity in a way they never have before.
I find that quality alluring, and I think it's because it reminds me of a time in my life when I felt very much the same. I was confused and I felt intensely alone, longing for someone to understand how I felt yet unable to articulate it effectively. I see those qualities in other people and I'm attracted in a very literal sense. I gravitate towards them. I want to help them if I can, in a way that I always felt nobody was there to help me.
It goes deeper than that too. I still deal with those problems. Still desire the company of friends who understand how I feel. And I've found it easier to socialize with a younger demographic than with peers closer to my own age. Maybe I'm stuck there in a way. I'm an adult, at least legally, but I've never really felt like one. I still feel like I did when I was in middle school, I just have the benefit of more life experience."
This person had more to say, you can finish reading his statement by clicking the link provided above. Being a 14-year-old girl, this disturbs me. I think parents keeping things like this from their children and not having open conversations pertaining to these topics can do more harm than good. I am weary of people and their intentions and prefer to observe most times that engage in conversations. As for me, I don't think my parents have much to worry about as I like to research and I consider myself fairly smart.
A person's brain is fully developed at the age of 25. Children can be easily manipulated into doing things. Parents tell their children lies all the time to get them to do what they want. A child is curious and doesn't know the dangers of the world's most of the time and sometimes they get exposed to the world too fast in life and they grow up quick, they're forced to be mature and their childhood becomes non-existent.
A person can be smart and still be manipulated, especially if the manipulator has managed to break down the person's defensive.
"Child molesters are often outgoing, likeable and seem sincere and honest.
"A double life is prevalent among all types of sex offenders," clinical psychologist and lecturer Anna Salter says in her book, "Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists and other Sex Offenders: Who They Are, How They Operate, and How We Can Protect Ourselves and Our Children."
"The front that offenders typically offer to the outside world is usually a 'good person,' someone who the community believes has a good character and would never do such a thing,"
Research also shows that child molestation rarely occurs suddenly. Molesters choose their victims. Especially vulnerable are children who are "perceived to be pretty, 'provocatively' dressed, young or small," The Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence says.
With a victim in mind, the molester wins the child's friendship and trust and manipulates him or her into sexual activities." - https://www.baltimoresun.com/ph-ho-cf-myword-072811-20110720-story.html
Let's summarize the main thing you should take from this. Inappropriate or intimate relationships between students and teachers or adults and children should not be acceptable or romanticized in any way. It is harmful and implies that it is okay or acceptable for this to happen, it also damages the child for the rest of their life and can easily become trauma and cause many problems.
You mentioned that you don't necessarily have a problem if its in college and both parties are 18 and over but there would be a power imbalance. Even though it would be legal, I am not at all fond of such a relationship. What does a grown man/woman want to do with a girl/boy that's just freshly out of their teenage years. Have you ever heard of situations where someone waited for a child to become "legal" and then pursue them? Its just as wrong, I think its called grooming.