Stop calling me, Carlos, I don’t want you, you are married as well. Have some fucking respect for your wife you douche bag!
Wow. Um… I don’t know a Carlos and I’m not Carlos.
Oh… Well who are you and why are you calling me?
I guess this is a wrong number mistake kind of call.
Yeah. I guess so.
I mean… Carlos is a dick though. Cheating on his poor wife.
Okay Bye now.
*Beep* *Beep*
_______________
Hey stranger.
Oh, It’s you again. I thought we were done talking to each other forever.
Well that was rude.
I prefer the term blunt.
Ahhh, okay my blunt couch cough rude stranger.
What do you want bro?
Nothing. I’m just curious about you.
Have you ever heard “Curiosity killed the cat”?
Yeah, but a cat has 9 lives, Miss sunshine.
So, you have no legit reason to be calling?
No, I’m afraid not.
So, you just call random people, annoy them and waste their time for fun?
Not really, I just like irritating you. It gives me joy.
You know what will give me joy? Sticking my foot so far up your ass, you burst in 2.
Ouch! That doesn’t seem like a good time. I know what will though.
Huh? What will what?
I know what will be a good time.
And what is that now?
Me and you between my bedsheets.
Ewwwww. Keep dreaming you toad.
Trust me, princess, I’m no toad.
Sure you aren’t.
A toad can’t look as good as me, sweetheart.
Me calling you a toad is offensive… Offensive to the toad. A toad looks so much better than you.
I’m hurt. You broke my heart, darling.
Serves you right.
*Beep* *Beep *
_______
Good morning sunshine
Ugghhh. It’s too early to deal with you right now.
You make me sound like a nuisance. That’s not very nice of you, Sunshine.
Stop giving me nicknames and you are a nuisance, I’m so glad you’re aware.
You hear me with your words. They’re so sour.
Sour like your balls.
You did not just say that.
And you have a hearing impairment, so lovely.
If I was close to you right now, I would mess up your hair.
You sound like a child. Seeking revenge for such matters.
*Beep* *Beep*
“Did that man child really hang up on me?” she says as she shakes her head in mock disbelief.
____________
And the most annoying person in the world award goes to you
Really now, sweetheart? I’m surprised you called first, usually, I’m the one calling.
You hung up on me last time 1st and I don’t want that, that’s my thing. Plus, you are a man child.
I can’t believe you say I’m the annoying one.
But you are. We all know that it’s true. The truth hurts Mr Annoying.
So, What’s your name?
My name is… none of your business.
Oh come on. You're so cruel.
You have no idea.
I’ll just ignore that.
Just like how your mother ignored your existence.
My mother is dead though.
Oh shit! Really? Umm… hush?
No, my mother is not dead but it was fun to scare you. Plus, you are really bad at comforting.
I hope you choke on a dick. You’re so fucking annoying. I swear I’m going to kill you.
I wouldn’t mind if you’re the one choking on my dick, sweetheart.
Oh fuck you!
*Beep* *Beep*
___________
I’m so sorry!
Sorry about what?
Did you not just get a dick pic from my number?
Wtf- no!
Uhhhh… who did it go to then?
Why are you asking me you idiot?!
I don’t know. I know you would’ve loved seeing my dick, anyways.
You are so disgusting. Why are you even sending dick pics to people? I feel bad for them having to see that ugly ass thing.
Ha ha, so funny.
I know, you don’t have to tell me.
So narcissistic, sweetheart.
And you’re a menace to society.
*Beep* *Beep*
_____________________
I'm not shy, I'll say it I've been picturing you naked I'm a little faded You look like a fuckin' paintin' Big doe eyes, amazin' She's everything I've been prayin' My heart palpitation She looks like the type to break it
Me and your girlfriend playin' dress up at my house I gave your girlfriend cunnilingus on my couch She cute, kawaii, hentai boobies, that excites me
*claps loudly* Sweetheart what a show. Such songs you listen to Sunshine.
Oh my gosh. Shit! Why didn’t you just hang up?! How much of it did you hear?
Darling chill. I’ve been picturing you naked too, no need to be all shy now.
Ughhh… seriously… I- We are to never speak of this again.
Yes ma’am. You know, I wouldn’t mind giving you cunnilingus on my couch?
Oh shut up! I wouldn’t even touch with a 600 feet pole.
Darling, my dick is that 600 feet pole that you’re using.
*Beep* *Beep*
________________
What’s your name, sweetheart?
Nicotine
No… please tell me or I'm going to die.
Alright, I’ll tell you mine, if you tell me yours. Deal?
Deal.
Okay.
Tha name is Mateo.
Hmmm, Mateo. Well Mateo, my name is Melanie.
Melanie, my love. So beautiful, but you would be more beautiful under me.
You need a whopping Mateo and I’m just the person to do it.
Kinky, I like it.
So disgusting.
If I asked you to meet up with me, would you?
Maybe, maybe not.
Please.
Why though?
Because I’m so intrigued by you and I would love to be more than your calling buddy with benefits.
I’ll think about it, Mateo. Bye, I have to go now.
Bye Melanie.
*Beep* *Beep*
__________________
Mateo, I’ll meet you. Today at Williamsark at 4:50.
*Beep* *Beep*
“ I can’t believe she agreed to meet me,” Mateo said with a huge grin on his face.
꧁༺- // - 𝓔𝓵𝓵𝓮 <3 𝓐𝓱𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓪𝓱 -//-༻꧂
✨ELLE's NOTE - Hey besties, what did you think of this style of writing? Let me know if it was hard to read and if I shouldn't do something like this again. Hope you ENJOYED. Also, if you liked it, give it a like and sign up to be a member of my website to get notifications for my content.
